A free random standup picker for daily standups. The duck picks who goes first, tells a joke while they get ready, and remembers exactly who is left.
Free. No signup, no account. Nothing leaves your browser.
This one's live. Hit the button and it picks from a team of five, joke included.
5 still to go
Answer three questions and the duck will tell you what your daily standup really costs. Then it will offer to fix it.
People in your standup
How long it actually runs
How often someone says “let's take that offline”
The duck verdict
72 hours a year.
That is 2 working weeks of saying no blockers.
Diagnosis: Mild Duckless Drift
By the duck's maths. The duck is not a statistician, but the duck is not wrong either.
Why a duck?
Stuck programmers explain the bug out loud to a rubber duck. Halfway through explaining it, they find the bug.
It's called rubber duck debugging and it genuinely works. Standup is the same trick with your whole team in the room. So tell it to the duck.
Type the names in once. They're saved in your browser, so tomorrow you just open the page and go.
The duck calls a name and cracks a joke while that person gets their head together. Then the floor is theirs.
Names drop off as people speak, so nobody's skipped and nobody goes twice. Last name called: confetti.
Dev humour, office classics, workplace stuff, and puns bad enough to earn a groan. A fresh one with every pick, never repeated on you.
Which body part does a programmer know best?
ARM
Relationship status?
I'll leave the relations to the database.
How do you get the code for the bank vault?
You checkout their branch.
How did the developer announce their engagement?
They returned true!
What do you call a busy waiter?
A server.
What do you call an idle server?
A waiter.
[Please Enter New Password] fortnight
[Error: Password is Two Week]
How many Prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Yes.
I’ve been hearing news about this big boolean.
Huge if true.
What diet did the ghost developer go on?
Boolean
Why was the developer unhappy at their job?
They wanted arrays.
Why did 10 get paid less than "10"?
There was workplace inequality.
Which body part does a programmer know best?
ARM
Relationship status?
I'll leave the relations to the database.
How do you get the code for the bank vault?
You checkout their branch.
How did the developer announce their engagement?
They returned true!
What do you call a busy waiter?
A server.
What do you call an idle server?
A waiter.
[Please Enter New Password] fortnight
[Error: Password is Two Week]
How many Prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Yes.
I’ve been hearing news about this big boolean.
Huge if true.
What diet did the ghost developer go on?
Boolean
Why was the developer unhappy at their job?
They wanted arrays.
Why did 10 get paid less than "10"?
There was workplace inequality.
Why was the function sad after a successful first call?
It didn’t get a callback.
Why did the angry function exceed the callstack size?
It got into an Argument with itself
Whats the object-oriented way to become wealthy?
Inheritance
Why did the developer ground their kid?
They weren't telling the truthy
What did the array say after it was extended?
Stop objectifying me.
!false
It's funny 'cause it's true.
Where did the parallel function wash its hands?
Async
I'm starting a band called HTML Encoder
Looking to buy a guitar &
Why did the functions stop calling each other?
Because they had constant arguments.
What's the second movie about a database engineer called?
The SQL.
Why doesn't Hollywood make more Big Data movies?
NoSQL.
What did the spider do on the computer?
Made a website!
Why was the function sad after a successful first call?
It didn’t get a callback.
Why did the angry function exceed the callstack size?
It got into an Argument with itself
Whats the object-oriented way to become wealthy?
Inheritance
Why did the developer ground their kid?
They weren't telling the truthy
What did the array say after it was extended?
Stop objectifying me.
!false
It's funny 'cause it's true.
Where did the parallel function wash its hands?
Async
I'm starting a band called HTML Encoder
Looking to buy a guitar &
Why did the functions stop calling each other?
Because they had constant arguments.
What's the second movie about a database engineer called?
The SQL.
Why doesn't Hollywood make more Big Data movies?
NoSQL.
What did the spider do on the computer?
Made a website!
The duck picks at random and crosses names off as it goes. No volunteering, no awkward eye contact, no one person who somehow always goes first.
Add your team's in-jokes in settings and the duck works them into the rotation like it wrote them itself.
End with trivia, would-you-rather, a fun fact, or a recap of the standup you just ran. Or skip it all and go straight to confetti.
It wears a pumpkin in October and a party hat on your birthday. All of December the app goes festive and the jokes get noticeably worse.
Paper-white out of the box, plus six colour ponds for the duck to swim in, including a Night Pond for the dark mode crowd. One toggle kills the sound for the open-plan office.
No account, no server, no IT ticket. Your roster stays on your machine and spacebar runs the whole meeting.
You don't, the duck does. It picks a random standup order every time and tracks who has spoken, so the order stays fair and nobody can accuse you of favouritism.
Completely. No trial, no paid tier, no card. Open the page, add your team, run your standup.
No. There is no account. Your roster and settings are saved in your own browser, and nothing you type ever leaves it.
Yes. It works anywhere you need a fair random order and a bit of energy: retros, demos, code review roulette, deciding who books the restaurant.